The Worst Pick Up Lines Ever
You could make the case that there are no good pick up lines. That’s because whenever you use a “line” to initiate a conversation, essentially you’re putting on airs. You’re not being yourself. That’s probably why lists of pick up lines inevitably start sounding goofy. In fact, in the 1990s, David Letterman routinely read Top Ten Lists related to pick-up lines: “Fabio’s Top Ten Pick Up Lines,” for instance.
Having said all of that, some pick up lines happen to be much worse than others. And the worst of the bunch usually include one or more of the following elements.
Puns and Rhymes
The first terrible pick up line category involves puns, such as “Is your name Rose? ‘Cause I want to plant you” or the notorious “Are you from Jamaica? ‘Cause you’re Jamaican me horny.” This latter line, in fact, might in fact be the worst one of all time.
Related to the punny pick up line is the rhyming line, equally dreadful, also to be avoided at any cost. “Would you like a Coke or would you like to stroke?” is an example. Even worse are when childhood rhymes are dragged into the situation. So make a vow never to attempt a pick-up line beginning with “Roses are red / Violets are blue” or “Hickory Dickory Dock.”
Crassness
It’s wise to avoid pick up lines that blatantly refer to one or more of the body parts of the person you’re addressing. That’s not only cheesy; it’s plain rude. So please, for the sake of humanity, spare her your request to enter her in the county fair because of her huge melons, and refrain from telling her that you feel like a pirate around her as you’re craving her booty.
Equally as offensive is a pick up line that suggests the two of you are about to perform an intimate act. Even if you beat the million-to-one odds that such a line would actually work, what would happen if you really hit it off with this person and ended up marrying her? Would you want to explain to your children that the way you met their mother was when you went up to her in a bar and said: “Your pants are like my mirrors. I see myself in them” or “My name is ___; remember it so you can scream it out later tonight.” Would your kids be happy hearing about this? Do you want to have to lie to them about your first encounter with Mom? So keep your precious future children in mind before spewing a dirty pick up line.
Religiosity
Of course, some guys go to the opposite extreme when selecting a pick up line: They opt for the sacred rather than the profane. That is, they think if they incorporate quasi-religious messages into their pick-up lines, they can appeal to a woman’s soulfulness. Thus, a man will tell a woman that “heaven must be missing an angel,” or that seeing her confuses him because he always thought angels had wings. And if she makes some kind of physical contact with him, he might say that now he knows what it’s like to be touched by an angel. Or he might refer to how often God brags about having created her, or how Jesus Christ puts a statue of her on His dashboard. Somewhere up there, God no doubt shakes his head sadly at these lines.
Phone Number Request
Finally, there is the desperate grasping for a woman’s phone number. Telephone technology has obviously improved greatly over the decades, but telephone-related pick-up lines have not. And so a guy will still approach a woman at a club and tell her that he’s lost his phone number and needs to borrow hers. Or a dude might rely on this old chestnut: “There’s something wrong with my cell phone” — they used to say “phone book” instead of “cell phone” — “because it doesn’t have your number.”
