It’s a controversial topic, and many people believe that they can never really work; however, open relationships are becoming more common than ever. Some people see this as an advancement. We are becoming more aware and expressive of our needs and more open to non-conformist relationships Others see them as a detriment of values and a loss of a natural two-person relationship.
For those of you in the former category, know that an open relationship is never a field day. It is still a relationship and it still needs to be nurtured and worked on like any other relationship. If you and your partner are considering an open relationship, be sure to ask yourselves (and discuss) the following points.
Why are you opening up your relationship?
As obvious as it may seem, it is important that you both agree on why opening up the relationship could be mutually beneficial to you. Do you both desire a less traditional, monogamous relationship? Do you travel
Is opening an excuse to “help” a troubled relationship? (Hint: It will not help.)
If there has been cheating, trust or sexual issues, they will only get worse when you open a relationship. Being open is never the cure to relationship problems and should never be a course of action taken to save a relationship. If you are considering opening it up to strengthen the bond between you, you must ask yourself first why it is not as strong as it could be.
Will you continue to have sex as much (or more) than you currently do?
Being open does not replace the sex you have in your current commitment. A strong sexual bond is always important to keep people intimate to each other.
Do you trust each other enough?
The most obvious question, but it is one we rarely talk about. If you are unsure or doubt the extent of the trust between you, resist the urge to open, and deal with your problem head on.
What our your iron clad rules?
Will you talk about other people? What guidelines and boundaries do you have? Can you sleep with the same person more than once? Can you do it in the place you live? Be sure to discuss all the rules and respect you partner’s requests. An open relationship will never work unless you are both keenly aware of what you are agreeing to.
Are you comfortable with your partner having outside experiences?
An open relationship can never be self-serving or based on one person’s desires. It must be a mutually beneficial experience. For everything you are allowed to do, your partner must be allowed to do the same. It cannot be a competition or incite any jealousy. Only if you are ready for such a relationship is opening it up an acceptable idea. Know yourself. Know your partner. Only then will it ever work.
