Almost since Man was able to put one stone on top of another people have been keen to build statues and monuments. These are fantastic symbols of appreciation for the achievements of popular people as well as symbols of the outstanding skill and creativity of the people who designed them. Except for the weird ones. They are just silly.
Zinedine Zidane’s Act of Folly
If you have never heard of Zinedine Zidane then I can confirm that he was one of the finest football (soccer) players of his generation. The French internationalist was all set to bow out of the sport in glory in the World Cup of 2006. In the tournament final his nation’s hopes lay on his shoulders in what was to be his final game before retiring after a long and glorious career. In an act of demented genius the, err, demented genius that is Zidane decided that the final act of his career would be to head butt an Italian opponent in the chest in front of the watching world. Cue a red card expulsion, a victory for the Italians and an unlikely statue in Paris to celebrate his folly.
The Andy Murray Terracotta Warrior
The look on the face of Scottish tennis player Andy Murray here is priceless. He looks like he is about to say, “Nice statue. Who is it?” Umm, it’s you. The Chinese came up with the ridiculously inspired idea of making a statue of the player in the style of a terracotta warrior. With a giant head. And a weird haircut. And a completely different face from his.
Is That Really Princess Diana?
You know, this bronze statue looks vaguely like someone famous. It doesn’t look much like Princess Diana though, does it? The weird statue was commissioned to go on show in the Harrods store in London but stumbling across this monstrosity is probably enough to put you off your tea and biscuits before you even buy them.
The John Lennon Drug Cartel Tribute Statue
Now, this unlikely and bizarre statue is so difficult to explain that it makes my brain hurt. It is a tribute to John Lennon, who had recently died when it was commissioned. Why he is naked except for an army helmet is one thing. The fact the statue was made for a German themed hotel and amusement park run by a supposed drug cartel boss in Colombia just makes the whole things seem more surreal.
The Oscar Wilde Tropical Disease Statue

Oscar Wilde was a very witty man, as his novels and plays reveal. What kind of statue or monument could we come up with to commemorate the life and times of such a famous and influential person? I know, we could make a coffin and have a head and head stick out of it. To make it even better we could have some sort of bizarre growth coming out of his neck and make his face look like he has suffering from some of particularly vicious tropical disease. Thanks for the memories Oscar.
The Kobe Bryant Un-likeness Statue
You know who Kobe Bryant is, of course, but what has the NBA star got to do with this silly statue of someone else completely different? Eh? It’s meant to be Kobe? This un-likeness of the Los Angeles Lakers star can be appreciated in all of its glory if you go to the Guangzhou Academy of Fine Arts in China.
