Have you ever noticed how there are so many things in movies and TV shows that you don’t ever see in real life? I don’t mean hi tech sci-fi stuff, just things that are presented as normal occurrences when they aren’t really.
Cab Drivers Who Are Happy Following Insane Instructions
Here’s something for you try when you are feeling bored; jump in a taxi and scream “Follow that mad axeman who is covered in blood” or “Terrorists are about to blow up the president’s yacht” or even “just drive”. You aren’t likely to get very far. Having said that, the good news is that if you manage to get the driver to follow your insane instructions he won’t even tell you how much the ride costs. Just jump out, throw a wad of bank notes at him and he’ll be happy.
Glamorous People Doing Crappy Jobs
Tell me one thing; when was the last time you saw a really glamorous person doing a crappy job? In the world of the movies you can expect to see Jennifer Lopez cleaning vomit off the floor of a toilet, Brad Pitt serving rancid coffee in a dead end cafe and so on. In the real world I never see glamorous people with chiselled cheek bones and expensive hairdos carrying out these jobs.
Bartenders Who Don’t Need Specific Details of the Drink You Want
If you had some success with the insane cab instructions then here’s another one to try. Walk into a bar where no one knows you and ask for a beer without giving any idea of the brand you want to drink. Sure, they’ll give you a generic beer just like in the movies.
Bombs with Giant Timers on Them
At this point I’m going to confess that I have never been face to face with real bomb. Or even a fake one now that I think about it. However, I am reassured by the fact that they all seem to have giant timers on them to let you know how close they are to detonating. They also have a set of handy coloured wires and pulling out one of these will result in the bomb being deactivated. Don’t they?
People Dropping Things When They Receive Unexpected News
How many times in your life have you dropped things when receiving unexpected news? That’s right; exactly the same number of times that you have slipped on a banana skin and hilariously fallen over. For some reason movie and TV directors think that people who get told something unexpected lose all control of their hands and let things (usually breakable) fall to the ground instantly.
People with No Source of Income Living in Big Houses
I love films or shows about people who fall on hard times, lose their jobs and live a miserable life. Why? Because I love to see the great big houses they live in.
Suits of Armour as Ornaments
I’ve had a thing about suits of armour ever since I first watched Scooby and the gang constantly run past them without realising that the bad guy / ghost / fairground owner was inside the darned thing. You don’t see them on TV shows or movies as much these days but they used to be fairly common ornaments in fictional homes in the past. I reckon that some people probably still believe that every stately home and museum in the world has a suit of armour sitting there, presumably with someone lurking inside it. Yet, in all my years on Earth I haven’t yet seen one single suit of armour standing there as an ornament, exhibit or convenient hiding place.
