The world is even bigger and scarier than you think. If you don’t believe me then take a look at these weird signs that might just save your life.
The Unmarked Holes Signs
Now if this sign had just read, “Unmarked Holes” it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as effective, would it? You might have thought that unmarked holes are no big deal. What’s to stop you from running a little or even indulging in the popular pastime of walking backwards? Well, the stunning combination of unmarked holes and shafts are shown in all their glory on this weird sign.
The Sharp Edges Sign
Having your finger sliced off and losing gallons of blood is no laughing matter. It’s just as well that this nice sign warns you not to touch it so that you don’t suffer this sort unexpected amputation.
The Low Lying Sign
Let’s face it; you would rather smash into this sign then into the bridge just beyond it. This is a really good idea and I can’t help thinking that it could be implemented in other ways too. Perhaps someone could dig huge holes in the ground just before a cliff and put up a sign saying “If you fall in here you’ll fall off there”. Or else we could unleash a pack of wild dogs outside a safari park with a sign saying “If you get your limbs ripped off here you’ll get them ripped off in there”.
The Hitchhikers Sign
Personally, I thank Hollywood for never dying horribly at the hands of a reprobate hitchhiker. From a young age I learned that anyone thumbing a ride on a desolate highway is likely to be a bloodthirsty escaped criminal who is rather keen on killing me.
The Godzilla Sign
As if driving wasn’t difficult enough, now we need to look out for massive cartoon characters as well. I just hope he gives way when the lights turn red or I’ll get really upset with him.
The Big Hand Sign
What is this weird sign warning us of? A masked man with at least one giant hand plans on hovering his outsized appendage over my vehicle? This strange sign actually scares me just a little bit more than it probably should. I will never ever go this place with my car, wherever it is.
The Two Cemeteries Sign
This subtle warning sign tells us that this isn’t the kind of place where you want to have an accident. I’m guessing that if you’re from out of town and suffer a broken arm or scratched forehead they just throw you right into one of their cemeteries and let you rot. Well, they did warn you.
The Sudden Gunfire Sign
What exactly are we expected to do when driving along this road? Put on the bulletproof vests we’ve been carrying around for emergencies? I guess that if I’m going to meet a sudden end on the road it is probably best this way than with a wild-eyed hitchhiker attacking me or a Japanese cartoon character stomping on me.
The Water Sign
Well, it was nice of them to point this out. I always have trouble working out what that blue, wavy stuff at the end of the road is.
