Things are going well. You like her and lucky you, she likes you too. It’s getting serious. Before long, she comes to you with some surprising news: Her family is in town. She thinks you should meet them.
Ruh roh. You panic, start sweating. It’s a step. Your heart is racing, but you don’t know why. Commitment-phobe or not, it is a crossroad that every relationship encounters. But is it too early? To find out, ask yourself the following six questions…
Do you see this relationship going somewhere?
You don’t have to be ready to propose – but agreeing to meet her parents indicates that you are envisioning some kind of future together. If you question where the relationship is going, or you aren’t ready for a serious kind of commitment – avoid meeting her parents. It will save you both a ton of time, effort and heartbreak.
Would you be cool if she met your parents?
It’s very simple If you are not ready to introduce her to your parents, perhaps you should not meet hers. allow her to introduce you to her parents. Barring any tensions or issues you might have with your parents, meeting family is an intimate act. Ideally, you should operate under the same levels of intimacy.
Are you really ready learn more about her?(…much, much more about her?)
You will learn more about someone by meeting her parents than from almost any other moment in a relationship. Perhaps you will see how she might age, how her family informs her behavior or how she was as a child. You will most definitely gain an understanding of the two people who have influenced her more than any others. Are you ready for this knowledge, warts and all? (Seriously, her parents might actually have warts.)
Can you see past politics?
If you are aware of any political difference between you and her parents, are you able to set them aside for a few hours for your significant other? If not, are you really prioritizing the relationship?
Do you want to impress them?
These are people you should feel a slight responsibility to impress. If you don’t feel the need to do that, is she that important to you?
Can you charm?
Are you ready, willing and able to listen, empathize and put your best foot forward? Are you open to cleaning up and being on your best behavior? Are you excited to make an impression, but still show them who you really are? Only meet them when you know you can truly give them your time and you can be at your best.
If you navigated these questions your ready. Get a haircut, learn a little about them and plan something nice. There should be no need for tension or nerves. Be the man your girl wants to introduce to them. Be the man your girl has fallen for. And all should be just fine!