Don’t you just hate it when people use intensely annoying words which are either in the wrong context or just completely made up? Of course, you do it yourself as well but when other people use these words they sound stupid, whereas you don’t. It’s just one of the life’s little mysteries.
Literally
Why do some people insist on sticking the word literally into just about every sentence? For example, I literally threw up when I saw that movie. So, did you throw up or not? The trouble with the common usage of literally is that it is literally the opposite of what the word really means. It really means actually, not figuratively like most people think. However, our problems have been literally solved by the Oxford English Dictionary, who have recently added the incorrect usage to their dictionary after centuries of people getting it literally wrong.
Random
I have to put my hand up and admit that I use the word random in a way which is, well, random. The word means something without aim or direction, not something you just don’t understand. It can’t mean random photos you are showing people unless you choose them while blindfolded or without looking. Talking about random nights out, random thoughts and random actions is usually a misuse of the word.
Irregardless
What does this made up word even mean? Do people think that regardless is like flammable and you can just add a bit at the start without changing the meaning? This annoyingly random word makes literally no sense, irregardless of how you use it. Give it a few years and it’ll probably be in the dictionary.
Expresso Instead of Espresso

No, it’s not expresso. Espresso is the correct word in this case. Expresso is just a made up word which makes something sound fast. Espresso is the correct Italian spelling of the delicious drink which leaves me feeling a bit hyper and kind of nervous, while expresso is now so widespread that some people accept it as being a valid alternative spelling. I don’t and never will. Maybe we will have the Espresso wars at some point in the future, as two factions of buzzed up coffee drinkers battle it out to see which word is right.
Any Word with Z instead of S
When did mis-spelling words become cool? Back in the old days boys and cars were words which no-one with any sense would have spelt with a z in them. Worryingly, I am now seeing more mis-spelt words all the time. What chance does the human race have when spelling a word wrong on purpose is seen as a good thing? As far as I can see, the people who were responsible for this terrible downturn in the history of written communication are the 70s glam rock band Slade. They thought nothing of calling songs titles like Cum on Feel the Noize or Coz I Luv U.
Affect / Effect
These are two different words and I find it pretty annoying when people use the wrong one. The effect which something has is the impact it causes. Something which affects you can have an effect. It isn’t rocket science and I get more annoyed than I really should when I hear someone get it wrong, which is basically all the time. Maybe I need to chill out and drink less expresso. I mean espresso.
Deserts / Desserts

I know a guy who works in a restaurant and has been writing the word deserts on the menu blackboard ever days for about 10 years. One day he will get his just deserts and they will fire him.
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