Have you travelled by elevator and wondered why someone had left a crazy note on it? If you have then you aren’t alone. There are more of these weird elevator notes around than you might think.
The Weight Limit Regulations
The most surprising thing about this sign is that only 88 haddock can fit into this elevator. I would have guessed that you could have crammed in more than that. On the other hand, 2,941 pigeons seem like an awful lot of filthy, cooing creatures to travel in this way.
The Strict Regulations Sign
I am all for strict elevator regulations but this sign just seems too harsh, even for me. For a start, what’s all that stuff about not being able to travel with unplugged water tanks? Whenever I take my water tank on an elevator ride I am usually fairly lax about plugging it. Also, are we really saying that those dead drunk guests would be safer walking up or down numerous flights of stairs? What if they’re carrying a water tank?
The Squirrel Elevator
The Chinese Elevator
To be fair, it was nice of the person who printed this sign to go to trouble of pointing out that there is a method of traveling quickly between floors in a far-off Asian country. It’s not really very convenient thought, is it? Unless you’re in China, of course.
The Stuck Forever Notice
Can you even begin to imagine getting stuck in an elevator forever? I had always naively assumed that if you opened the doors at the wrong moment someone would probably come along and rescue you. Sure, they might give you a telling off or fine you but they wouldn’t really leave you there for eternity, would they? What if some squirrels came along and wanted to travel up a few floors but you were stuck in there forever? You can’t expect these guys to walk up flights of stairs.
The Out of Service Elevator Sign
Hang on; I am sure I can work this one out. So, the elevator is out of service. That’s fair enough. These things sometimes happen, especially when dead drunk guests are using them and people are stuck in them forever. However, what should we do in order to arrive at the floor of the building we desire to be in. I know, we could use the, err, elevator. Something’s not right with this crazy elevator note, is it?
The Up or Down Elevator
I have to bite the bullet and admit right here and now that I am not the most technical person in the world. If you asked me how an elevator works then I would need to shrug my shoulders and mumble something incoherent about ropes and pulleys. However, even I have long come to the conclusion that buttons that look like up buttons tend to take me in a trajectory that could reasonably be described as upwards. Down buttons, on the other hand, well that’s a whole different kettle of fish.