There are some things in life that are just too embarrassing to talk about. Your trousers falling down in public, liking the latest Justin Bieber song and having a personal hygiene fail are a few of these things.
Sadly, I can’t help you with your wardrobe mishaps or with your pathetic taste in music but I can show you other people who have worse personal hygiene than you.
The Man Who Hasn’t Washed in 6 Decades
He hasn’t washed in 60 years, he lives in a hole, he smokes animal faeces in his pipe and he eats decomposed porcupines. Yup, we are talking about one serious personal hygiene fail here, although to be fair it isn’t clear how often he brushes his teeth. Iranian Amou Haji is 80 years old and the age of 20 decided to stop cleaning himself because he thought it would make him sick. However, smoking animal poo and eating rotting rodents weren’t things he seems to have spent too long worrying over. How does he cut his hair, I hear you ask. Well, it seems that when it gets too long he just burns some of it off in the fire. I’m beginning to like the sound of this guy’s lifestyle. Apart from the bit about not washing. And the animal poop. Oh, and the rodents. The hair burning is a bit weird as well, I guess.
The Unshaven Armpits
I don’t know about you but I can still remember the numb feeling of shock when that German woman who sung about red balloons revealed her armpits to the world. It was awful but some people didn’t learn from the experience. Julia Roberts, for example. She hit the headlines recently for having obviously hairy armpits in a public appearance.
The Unwashed Hair
The Iranian guy at the start was a real hardcore personal hygiene fail but some people aren’t willing to go as far as he has done to stink and look bad. Instead, they just don’t wash their hair for months or even years. There is probably someone somewhere who looks perfectly clean in every respect expect for their mat of ratty, sticky hair but sadly I couldn’t find the picture. I always remember being told by a hairdresser that after a few months your hair’s natural oils keep your hair clean if you don’t wash it. It’s not true though, is it?
The Dirty Fingernails
Is there anything worse than dirty fingernails? Sure there is. Living in a hole and eating decomposed porcupines or forgetting to shave your armpits before recording a 80s Europop classic, for example. However, I just hate seeing people with long or dirty fingernails.
Bad Teeth
If you ever have something nasty in your stomach you want to vomit up then I have a handy tip for. Just type “worst teeth” into Google Images. Good lord, there are some scarily bad dental disasters out there. I chose this guy’s photo because he looks pretty delighted with his set of gnashers. This is the kind of blithe, care free sort of dental mayhem I love to see. His beard is an absolute classic as well.
Bad Breath
If you suffer from bad breath then I have great news for you. Scientists have discovered a fool proof cure for getting ridding of this embarrassing personal hygiene fail. The solution it to brush-your-freaking-teeth. Apparently 90 million people in the US have bad breath. Jeez, I won’t be going there anytime soon. Apparently melons, yoghurt and parsley can help with this problem, while eating Roadkill porcupines and smoking faeces isn’t really recommended.
