There are a million reasons to adopt a child.

Maybe you’re doing it for personal reasons or maybe you’d like to provide a place of solace for a child who’s had a rough time.

After all, why bring a new child into the world when there’s already so many who don’t have permanent homes?

Whatever your reasons for wanting to adopt, they’re probably coming from an honorable place.  

But even with good intentions, there are a number of things you’ll need to know before adopting a child.

For the sake of your time, we’ve collected some of the most important thing to keep in mind.


The Adoption Process Can Be Extensive

child

Adopting a child isn’t as simple as adopting a puppy. There’s no child store that you can waltz into on a Sunday afternoon and, in less than half an hour, walk out with a kid, a year’s supply of baby food and a couple of toys.

First of all, there are different kinds of adoptions, each of which has its own unique process. There’s domestic infant adoption (a mother legally chooses an adoptive family for her new-born), foster care adoption (the child begins as a foster child, but is eventually adopted) and international adoption (a child is adopted from outside the country). Whichever process you choose will depend on your own desires and abilities.

Even if you think you’d make the best parent in the world, not everyone is allowed to adopt. There is an extensive vetting period, during which an adoption agency decides whether or not you’re fit to raise a child. While it depends on the state, most adults are legally capable of adopting a child, as long as they can prove to the adoption agency that they can provide a loving and financially stable home.

There are also adoption costs to keep in mind, which vary by adoption agency. To give you some sort of idea, the costs can range from $5,000 to $40,000. If you attempt to adopt internationally, it’s going to be at the higher end of those two numbers. While the timeframe of adoptions also varies on a case to case basis, it will usually take under a year to complete the process.

Many people who adopt find it beneficial to hire an attorney. By doing so, you won’t have to worry about the complex legal issues. It’s also nice to have someone on your side who is highly knowledgeable about the subject at hand. With the legal issues taken care of, this can give you the peace of mind to focus on the many other issues surrounding the process.  

What Kind of Child is Best for You?

child on a swing

It may sound odd, like you’re browsing a store for a pair of pants, but you’ll need to figure out what kind of child you want. A big part of this is the age. Do you want to adopt a baby or a teenager? This decision can depend on a number of factors, but your own age is one of them. If you want to adopt an infant, try to imagine where you’ll be in fifteen years.

Older children, while able to take care of their own basic needs, can sometimes prove much more difficult to handle. Because they’re old enough to comprehend their own situation, they might have some behavioral issues, brought about by their less-than-ideal childhood. These types of cases require their own unique set of preparations and aren’t for everybody.

In general, you’ll want to accumulate as much information on the child as possible, such as medical records. Whether or not a child has any medical issues will be an incredibly important consideration for you and your family. Not only will you need to be sure you can provide proper care, but that you’re financially prepared, as medical costs can escalate quickly.


What About the Child’s Biological Parents?

Becoming acquainted with the child’s family is another important step. There’s a good chance that the child’s biological parents will want to remain engaged in the child’s life someway – if not directly, then indirectly. Ensuring this relationship is a healthy one is tantamount to a happy adoption process.

It can also be healthy for the child. If he or she wishes to get to know his or her parents, it will be extremely helpful that a friendly relationship already exists between the two families. That way, the child doesn’t grow up with a hole in his or her own identity.

Even if the child doesn’t develop a deep relationship with his or her biological parents, the knowledge of where he or she comes from can sometimes be enough.


You’ll Need to Emotionally Prepare

Just like with having a child the old-fashioned way, adopting is a serious commitment that should not be made lightly. You need to be sure that you and your spouse are prepared for the truckload of responsibility that will soon be heaped upon you.

It’s important to remember that the question shouldn’t always be “do I want to have a child,” but, more importantly, “does a child want to have me?” Be sure your life is as stable and comfortable as it can possibly be before introducing an impressionable human life into it. If you’re not as financially comfy as you’d like to be or you have some personal issues, it’s best to hold off until you can be the best parent possible.

Even if you already have biological children, adopting a child can come with its own set of emotional hedge mazes. For instance, you’ll want to discuss the concept with your children beforehand, to get their take on the matter and to smooth out any preconceived notions they might have.

The relationship between biological children and adopted children might not always be as smooth as you’d like, but such situations can be worked out through time and communication. It helps if the kids are younger, as they’re able to adapt to new situations far easier. If they’re really young, they probably won’t remember their adopted sibling as being adopted at all, once they grow up.

Also, the adoption process itself can require its own set of emotional preparation. At the very least, an incredible amount of patience will be required. With all of the paperwork, interviews and variables that go into adopting a child, you’ll need a strong sense of fortitude to carry you through. In some ways, this difficult process is a good thing, as it weeds out the parents who aren’t serious about adopting.


What Happens After You Adopt?

child playing

Once you’ve gone through with the adoption process and have your new child, the first step is removing the thin film that protects the surface from scratches. Sorry, that was a joke. The first thing you’ll want to do is make sure the child feels at home. This is especially true if the child is old enough to be able to consider his or her surroundings.

This is also an important time to surround the child with friends and family. Perhaps, more than anything else, this will make the child feel loved and comfortable in his or her new environment. While the child’s initial sense being a stranger is totally normal, this affection and sense of community can help thaw that feeling quickly.

After doing everything you can to make the child feel comfortable, you’ll want to begin carrying out the practical actions. One of these includes scheduling the child for a doctor’s appointment. Even if you’ve already seen the child’s medical records, you’ll want to get the child evaluated by a doctor you trust. Plus, it’s as good a time as ever to find a pediatrician, because you’ll be making a number of visits in the future and allowing them to get to know your child as early as possible is ideal.

Another of the more practical aspects is the importance of saving money. You may already have a savings account that will cover any emergency costs for you or your spouse, but a child is going to require more. You’ll also have to start thinking about saving for college. It may be far away, but that’s plenty of time to build up a strong college fund.


Adopting a Child is Worth the Stress

child and father

Anyone who has gone through the adoption process can attest to the stress and hard work.

They’ll also be sure to tell you that it was absolutely worth all of it.  

In fact, the enduring happiness of your relationship with your adopted child is built upon the foundation of this difficult process. It’s where your relationship with the child gains its strength and durability.

Once you have the child and he or she becomes another part of your household, these hardships will melt away. But in their place, new hardships will arise.

Don’t worry. This is a natural part of life and developing relationships, particularly one of the parent/child variety.

Who knows?

After the child is home and everything is relatively normal, you might even think about adopting again.