Forgive me for starting on such a personal note but could I ask what your bed is like? I only ask because mine is kind of dull. Actually, I never realised how downright boring it was until I started to look at some of the strangest beds in the world. Now, these are seriously weird places to fall sleep in.
1. The Pizza Bed
Has there ever been a finer invention by man than pizza? Sure, the wheel and fire have got their benefits but their lack of a crispy crust and melted cheese counts against them. I am not sure I would like to sleep in a weird bed made out of one, though.
2. The Nest Bed
I think I can safely say that we have all dreamed of being a bird at some point, haven’t we? Well, this is your chance to make the dream come true. You use giant egg type pillows as well but hopefully your parents won’t come into your room and force regurgitated worms down your throat in the morning.
3. The Trap Bed
I really don’t understand the point of this strange bed. Who is it designed to trap? Are we talking kinky bedroom games here or a serious mouse infestation?
4. The Phallic Bed
If taste and discretion are your middle names then you could always use this bed, which I have rather subtly named the phallic bed. Just think how impressed your in laws will be when they visit for the first time and see how much style you have.
5. The Rollercoaster Bed
Life is a rollercoaster, isn’t it? So why not sleep in one? This is the kind of sound logic which builds empires and turns normal places for sleeping into the strangest bed around. Could you slide round this on a special friction free pillow?
6. The Royal Bed
So, you want to live like a queen, do you? You might have thought this meant being waited on hand and foot and everyone bowing when they meet you. No, it means sleeping in a ridiculous bed, I am afraid.
7. The Hamburger Bed
I have a problem which I hope other people have too, as sharing my misery somehow lessens it. My problem is that I sometimes get a rumbling tummy when I lie down in bed. This results in frequent midnight trips to the fridge. Sleeping in a weird bed made out of a hamburger isn’t going to help at all. I just hope there is not a giant gherkin pillow in there. I hate those things with a passion which borders on psychotic.
8. The Coffin Bed
Have you ever wanted to sleep in a coffin? Just can’t wait till that glorious day you get buried? This is the weird bed for you, then, you blooming weirdo.
9. The Floating Bed
This is the only one of the strangest beds in the world which seems to win the eternal struggle against gravity. I would be afraid of falling out, though.
10. The Big Bunk Bed
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to invite your whole street over to sleep in your bedroom? For most of us this is either impossible or would be extremely uncomfortable. What you need to make this dream come true is a giant bunk bed. You probably need planning permission for this bad boy. I wouldn’t want to be on the top storey and feel the need to make a trip to the toilet in the middle of the night, that’s for sure.