THAT BUCKET OF FRIES
Fries are always the surprising treat at the game. They aren’t peanuts or cracker jacks (do they sell those anymore?), or the typical beer and hot dogs. But when you see the vendor and smell the oil in the air, you just can’t resist. The smallest size in a two gallon bucket, so let’s be health conscious and get that one.
THAT THIRD HOT DOG
Sometimes it is hard to decide between a chili dog, classic mustard, and sauerkraut. So you get all three. Smart choice: this way there is no FOMO, no regret.
THAT PRETZEL THAT IS LARGER THAN YOUR HEAD
A salty, sweaty pretzel at a game is a tradition, so it is less about calories and more honoring an old childhood memory. Sure, the pretzel is now three pounds and requires an entire bottle of mustard, but that is the cost of sentimentality. It’s a ballgame – where sentimentality is king.
THOSE NOT-SO NACHOS
What can you say? You have a soft spot for those crunchy cheap chips smothered in that ooey, gooey neon yellow “cheese”. Mom always says “cheese shouldn’t be something you squirt”, but this is something special. Plus there are jalapenos, so you are getting some vegetables in.
THAT ICE CREAM SANDWICH (WHILE WAITING IN LINE FOR THE BATHROOM)
You almost forgot but there was a line for the bathroom between innings and you got that ice cream sandwich. What else were you expected to do while waiting four minutes to use the urinal?
THAT FOURTH HOT DOG
You had a second chili dog. You forgot.
THAT MAGICAL BEER THAT JUST APPEARED THERE
You had a few beers, that is for sure. But you usually stick to a Heineken or Coors or whatever is sponsoring the stadium. But you vaguely remember drinking some IPA that was just sitting there next to you. You bought that, right? It didn’t belong to the guy sitting next to you, right? Right.
You definitely ate a fly while singing the national anthem. The seats are high up and it’s a warm day out. They are bound to swerve.
THOSE ANTACIDS/GAS MEDS
You were so smart. You definitely remembered to take an antacid before the game. And a few times during. Oh, and in the car on the way home. So you are feeling okay? Well, kind of, okay. Good enough to wonder what to have for dinner.
HAPPY BASEBALL SEASON!