Maybe it has been a while. Marriage – a good marriage – is about getting to know someone so deeply and intimately that it actually can cause one major problem: how do you continue to surprise one another.
It’s a particularly tricky problem the longer you have been together. All your old tactics have been used and are already anticipated. Perhaps you used to charm her with a special meal or trip to the jewelry store, but no it seems tired.
So what can you do? The key is to break habits and show her you are not in a routine. As a jumping off place, try the following:
DRESS UP FOR HER
Break out the suit, iron a shirt and throw on a tie. Not because you are headed to a wedding, but because you are going out with her. She will say you are overdressed, but she will love the effort.
LET HER SLEEP
Walk the dog, make breakfast, get the kids out of bed, and let her be. Give her the Sunday morning you wish you could get. (She will probably return the favor, but do this because you want to spoil her, not be spoiled in return.)
Your body. The bedroom. The backyard. The garage. Whatever you choose to clean, make it the thing you have both been putting off.
ORGANIZE A SURPRISE DATE
Make up an excuse so you know you are both free, and then plan a date like you never have before. Go to a new restaurant, club or bar. Head to a new town you have not explored. Or find a new adventure to go on.
TAKE SOMETHING OFF HER PLATE
We are all busy and there is nothing as comforting as someone you trust telling you that they “got this”. If you see an opportunity to take something off of her to-do list, jump at the chance. That is what being a team means.
REAFFIRM HER PASSION
Find ways to ignite her passion – and not only in the bedroom. Is there something she loves and does not get a change to do often? Go on roller coaster? Ice skate? Paint? Is there a job she would love to do but gave up for her current career (or for your family)? Help her get back on track with all of the things she loves about life. If you do not know of any, ask her. Your relationship will oly get stronger.
FIND NEW WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU
As you grow into a marriage, the I Love You can become so easy it is like another hello or good-bye. Find new, creative ways to say it. Skip the greeting cards and try things like: notes in the bottom of her (unused) coffee mug, a handmade card from you (or the kids), or simply new ways of phrasing those three little words. How about telling her why you love her instead of only telling her that you do?