Ah, Easter! Spring is springing and shirtless season is only a few weeks away. And yet, temptation is everywhere. Temptation delivered benignly from the basket of a Bunny. That’s right, it is Easter season. And for those of us who celebrate it, we know we will cave. We will insist that the junk food is for kids but we will find ourselves looking longingly at the colors in the drug store candy aisle or slyly sneaking a hand into the kids’ baskets.
And we are not reaching for quality. It’s all coloring and sugar and processing, but it’s tradition.
Well, no more shame! Let us celebrate the food (foods?) that we will sneakily scarf down this weekend and then try to forget about on Monday.
MARSHMALLOW PEEPS A modern classic, but a weird one. They are everywhere this time of year and yet, no one eats them proudly. Sure, they have a colorful personality and a cult following, but Peeps are more fun to put in the microwave than actually eat. And yet, every year, we eat a few too many. Shh!
PEANUT BUTTER EGGS Not the little ones. The big ones. The football-sized juggernauts filled with something that is close to peanut butter, but still does not exactly taste like peanut butter. And we eat the whole thing.
MEDIOCRE JELLY BEANS Jelly beans are delicious. Well, the expensive ones are. Artisanal beans – along with the fun, Harry Potter-esque novelty ones are fun! (Do not try a vomit-flavored one!) However, the cheap ones taste like a drop a jelly was left out on the counter for a year. And we eat them by the handful!
BUNNY HEADS
The Pascual season is a time of peace. It is also a time to Ozzy Osbourne a chocolate bunny. Everyone goes for the head first. It is our instincts as predators.
THAT WEIRD HARD-BOILED EGG IN BREAD THING
Commonly known as Pane de Pasqua, this is an Easter bread with dyed, hard-boiled eggs placed in the top. Why anyone would put hard-boiled eggs on top of bread is confusing. It’s hard to eat, the shells get everywhere, but we will still eat three servings.
AN ODDLY COLORED HARD-BOILED EGG
We all do this. Kids (or adults) dye the eggs. How fun, right? The next day, we hide them and the kids (or adults) go looking for them. Totally a blast, no? Then, the next day we have two dozen hard-boiled eggs on our hands. We might as well eat them. We open them and the whites are now reds, greens and purples. Eh, we will eat them anyway!
YEAR-OLD MINT JELLY
Lamb means mint jelly. Do we really have to buy more? We have some in the fridge since…since…Hmm, serve it anyway!
Happy Eating! I mean, Easter!
