Crime doesn’t pay. Well, it doesn’t if you are a really, really stupid thief at least. Here are some of the most bungling, inept criminals you will ever come across.
1. The Brilliant Disguise
If you were going to commit a robbery you would want a good disguise, wouldn’t you? Hell, why not just slap some black marker ink on your face instead. That’s what these two criminal geniuses from Tennessee thought they would do. Now, how did that work out for them?
2. The Snap Shot
So, you are a nasty car thief and you steal a car with three equally unsavory friends. You then drive past a speed trap that takes pictures. What you do? You just couldn’t resist turning round and looking at the camera, could you? You fool.
3. The Poor Haul

We might as well stay in England for this one. We need to go back to the 1970s but it is worth it. A chap in Southampton thought he was a criminal genius. I know, he thought, I’ll put a £10 note on the counter of a shop and when the assistant opens the till I’ll grab the contents of it. Great. Sadly, the till only contained £4.37. This stupid thief ended up out of pocket after his heist.
4. The Text Message Idiot
We need to pop over to the Zhejiang province in China for the next of our dumb criminals. In this case, he first of all broke into a house and stole the equivalent of about $44 in cash. Feeling a bit upset about such poor pickings he sent the victim a text message telling her to give him more money. The women told the cops, who got her to set up a meeting and nabbed the idiot.
5. The Time Wasters
The chaps in this photo tried to rob a restaurant in Chicago but the owner told them that he was too busy and to come back in an hour. They did. They got arrested.
6. The Courtroom Brilliance
A man called Marshall George Cummings Jr of Oklahoma was in court facing a number of charges of attempted robbery. He decided to defend himself. In a piece of courtroom brilliance which any hotshot lawyer would have been proud of this stupid thief asked a victim, “Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?” He got 10 long years in prison to try and work out what he said wrong.
7. The Facebook Error
A couple of burglars in Colombia came up with the idea of robbing an internet café at gunpoint. To while away a few minutes before the heist one of the stupid thieves decided to check out his Facebook page. If he had logged out before committing the crime he might just have got away with it.
8. The Tricky Car
Sometimes breaking into a car is easier than getting out again. A car thief in Adelaide, Australia was caught when the owner found him hiding in the car and unable to get out, while his accomplice was hiding in the bushes.
9. The Trail of Evidence

Leaving a trail of things behind you is a good idea when you go into a spooky forest and are worried about strange witches living in houses made of chocolate. It’s not such a good idea when you rob a store and the cops can follow the trail of wrappers to your parked car. This happened in San Diego and might be the only time Cheetos have helped make an arrest.
10. Another Brilliant Disguise
Some things work well as masks when you plan to rob a convenience store. Stockings, for example. Ski masks are another good example. Thongs? Not so much.
