No matter what you want in life, all men come across a time in their lives when they must ask themselves, “Do I want to be married?” If the answer is ever yes, we will certainly come across many other times when we ask ourselves, “Do we still want to be married?”

Despite one’s views on divorce and commitment, it is natural for someone to think of their happiness and consider the alternatives. Many people should not be married, and a divorce can be the best thing to happen to many. However, many others want to stay committed through all kinds of struggles.

There are experts about everything, but there is no one with more expertise about marriage than I married man. We reached out to men of all ages – who had been married for varying lengths of time – and asked them for advice. What we learned was enlightening.

MAN GETTING MARRIED IN A YEAR

“We know we work because we know we are committed to each other. We trust each other implicitly and allow each other to be as comfortable and vulnerable as possible.”

MAN MARRIED FOR LESS THAN A YEAR

“Don’t focus too much on the actual wedding. It is only one day. Then you go home, all partied and honeymooned, and you sit down and you are like, now what? What is next is not a party or an exciting trip, it’s routine, mundane, occasionally frustrating, but also really, really comfortable.”

MAN MARRIED FOR ONE YEAR

“You have to think she is smart. If you do not think she is smart, it will never work. That being said, I married the smartest person (man or woman) I have ever met. I’m surprised and in awe almost every day.”

MAN MARRIED FOR TWO YEARS

“I have no advice to give. I am still learning. I know I love her, and I want to learn more. About her. About me. About how I can do and be better. She would say I do pretty good, but I know I can do better.”

MAN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS

“Travel and have fun and have crazy sex and all that junk as much as you can before having kids. You will never be the same after they come along. And though you would never wish them gone, you might miss the crazy things you never did.”

MAN MARRIED FOR TEN YEARS

“The quicker you accept their ‘crazy’ and acknowledge your own ‘crazy’, the happier you will be…Also, there is no higher pressure on a team than children.”

MAN MARRIED FOR FIFTEEN YEARS

“Challenge each other, but also make each other the best possible individuals. Talk about everything – even the hard stuff. Never lie…and keep having sex. Keep holding her hand. Even when you are pissed at her. Find something you both really enjoy. Do not have kids unless you both want kids. Commit to a date night, even when you are too busy.”

MAN MARRIED FOR TWENTY YEARS

“Never stop having fun with her. Never stop finding ways to laugh. Never stop looking or new ways to fall in love with her.“

MAN MARRIED FOR THIRTY YEARS

“Don’t run away from the fights. That only makes things worse. Just remember you are fighting for the same thing. You both want the same thing. Also, put the toilet seat down.“

MAN MARRIED FOR FIFTY YEARS

“There are no rules. Stop looking for rules. Just do your best, work hard to love each other – it can be hard some days and easy other days. But you will realize there are harder things in life than worrying skirts you never chased. And when things are bad, and someone is there to help you, it is all worth it.”

MAN MARRIED FOR FIFTY-SEVEN YEARS

“One day, maybe, the bed on which she used to hog the covers will be empty and…she will be gone. You will wake up and be so angry about the stupid things you got mad at, the times you treated her badly and the laughs you never had. You will realize how lucky you are when it is too late. And even if you think you are really, really lucky like I always did, you still won’t know how lucky you are.

marriage