If you are going to rule the world with your music then you really need to start off by giving yourselves a weird band name. It’s like a kind of tradition, dude. Like the following strange band names…
Moot the Hoople
Let’s face it; if you ever had a hoople then the very first thing you are likely to do with it is mott the blooming thing. If you have ever wondered how this tight-trousered 70s rock group got its name then I can reveal it was named after a book. Ah but how did the book get its name? I don’t know; it was probably named after a stupid band or something.
Aggressive Snail Attack
If there’s one thing in life worse than being attacked by belligerent molluscs and having them sink their suckers into you it is trying to explain to people that your favorite band is called Aggressive Snail Attack. Jeez, just take the easy way out and tell them you love Bon Jovi.
Along with Slade, I blame this band with lowering spelling standards all over the planet. They started out as Deaf Leopard, which is a bad enough name to make anyone cringe as it is. They then decided to plumb previously unheard of levels of stupid-band-namedness by deliberately mis-spelling it.
Another example of the power of a badly spelt stupid band name comes with Fred Durst’s visionary rock prophets. Back when soulful power ballads, intellectual lyrics and heart-wrenching vocals were just glints in Durst’s almost too handsome eye he came up with a name that would make people hate them before even listening to them. In an act of even more stunning creative genius, they then named an album Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. Oh how we laughed at the cheeky scamp.
While losing your life due to a motorized gardening implement is no laughing matter, this metal parody act came up with one of the weirdest band names ever. I can remember covertly laughing at their album covers in my local music emporium in the 90s and incredibly they are still going strong. Well, not so strong but they are still going. Sort of.
Porno for Pyros
This is one for those music fans who like to think things through rather more than is strictly healthy. What is porno for pyros anyway? Is it a special type of porno that involves lighter fuel and lots of extremely dry paper? It really makes no sense if you think about it. Why is why you shouldn’t think about it.
The Alan Parsons Project
Even as a spotty kid with an embarrassing half-beard I knew that this stupid band name sucked. It is another one I used to see at my local record shop and it always intrigued me modestly. Why would you even name your group after a boring collaborative enterprise? He could at least have mis-spelt it as the Alon Parzonz Projekt or something.
This name at least raises a smile when you first read it but you can imagine spending your entire working life playing in a band called Ringo Deathstarr?
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Abnormally Premature Aardvarks
I know nothing about this band except, well, except nothing. I’ve got nothing. Nothing at all. They probably don’t even exist.
John Cougar Concentration Camp
Sometimes you just have to admire the mixture of cleverness and downright stupidity some people show in naming their bands. To add to the fun, one of the guys in this punk group is called Chip Fracture, which I sincerely hope is his real name. To be fair, if you were Mr and Mrs Fracture and just had a baby Chip is about the most sensible name you could possibly give the little future punk legend.