"How to ask a girl on a date. Ha! What a sham!"
I peered through my glasses and saw Ken, my best bud, pacing back and forth in our college dorm. “What are you complaining about?” I asked calmly.
“This,” he pointed to the magazine laying askew on the desk, “I did everything in the article!” He sank into our couch, defeated and hang his head in disbelief. “She said no, man. I don’t understand.”
That was 12 years ago.
Today, Ken is getting married, and I, his close friend, can’t help but realize how far he’s come.
If you’re anything like Ken, you’ve probably considered throwing dating out the window due to getting rejected frequently. But that's a terrible idea.
She May Say No, so Why Even Bother?
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Dating can be a terrific experience if you learn how to expertly navigate the waters.
It’s the reason magazines and websites keep creating thousands of how to ask a girl on a date articles.
Here are a few:
It's good for you
As members of society, we’re expected to meet someone, fall hopelessly in love, and get married.
Asking a girl out on a date can help you achieve that. Moreover, dating teaches how to handle conversations in an intimate space. As a social construct, it heightens existing social skills and develops new ones.
Dating also promotes social confidence and self-confidence, as well as improving conversational skills.
Even though dating is a positive social construct, the only downside is that society doesn't emphasize on how to ask a girl on a date.
Serum for growth
Going out on a date contributes to your identity and aids in personality developement.
That statement is true because you are only able to identify your preferences through interaction with others. It makes it easier to have a clearer vision of who you are, what you want, and who you want.
Additionally, dating helps you to identify your weaknesses and leads you to make positive changes.
Your very own rib locator
The primary purpose of dating is for two people to evaluate each other’s suitability for long-term companionship or marriage.
Through dating, you can analyze physical characteristics, personality traits, and financial status.
In the same way, you receive the pleasure of establishing a connection as well as evaluating each other’s aspirations. It's the perfect tool for narrowing the field of eligible partners.
Two peas cozy in a pod
Nothing says intimate like two people gazing into each other’s eyes over a candlelit dinner.
Going out on a date serves as an opportunity to establish a unique, meaningful relationship with someone you like.
It teaches consideration for others, cooperation, and patience. Dating, when done correctly, forces you to see beyond the human flesh.
Okay, I Understand -- but Why Am I Getting Rejected?
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Unfortunately, books and articles on how to ask a girl on a date can't contain all the possible reasons women turn down men.
From your approach to her personal preferences, there are still millions of reasons that are unaccounted for.
Let’s explore the major ones:
Sleeping on the job
Your chances of getting shot down increase exponentially when you don’t take the time to do some basic research.
It’s your responsibility to check her relationship status and sexual orientation. You can accomplish this if you have mutual friends or, can find a legal, non-invasive way to research.
The only exception to this rule is if she’s a stranger. In that case, follow your intuition and go for it.
Remember to walk away when you’re turned down. A true gentleman won't make a scene or demand an explanation.
Sloth on the loose
Ah, the notorious killer of potential relationships.Waiting too long to make a move messes things up even before you figure out how to ask a girl on a date correctly.
Here's an important thing to note. A woman’s window of opportunity isn’t permanent -- it’s limited. Interestingly, the time frame varies, depending on the setting.
For instance, a woman at a party, who’s interested in you, may give you a couple of minutes to a few hours to pick up on her signals and make a move.
On the other hand, a female friend or co-worker may give you a few weeks to a few months before moving on. It’s confusing, I know.
So, here’s a simple rule to always keep in mind: Express your interest as soon as you discover its existence.
First and last strike
Coming on too strong -- specifically, in a creepy way, will get you shot down faster than the speed of light. Your presence will be nothing but massive production of uneasiness or fear.
Don’t say things like, “So I’ve been watching you.” It’s uncomfortable and toes the definition of danger.
Besides, try your best not to be overly forward. Stalking her in real life could get you arrested. And on social media, blocked.
Furthermore, remember to tone down the sexual innuendoes and terms of endearment. Most women don’t want to be called baby or sweetheart by strangers.
A terrible first bite
You’ve heard it said that you never get a second chance to make an excellent first impression.
The fact is that when you first meet people, they make a judgment about you in approximately 4 seconds, and their opinion is finalized mostly within 30 seconds of the initial contact. You may not get a chance to redeem yourself.
So, when you approach a girl for the first time, put some thought into it.
Everything you do or don’t do either adds to or takes away from your credibility and your capability. This is the top reason to learn how to ask a girl on a date properly.
Zero impact, Captain
She's not into you. Yes, this is the reason behind many rejections.
There’s no science to it. A woman decides who she likes, and sometimes, your name may not make the list. It’s nothing to be concerned about or take to heart.
An unfortunate part about romance is that sometimes the guy doesn’t get the girl -- and that’s okay.
Here are a few signs to prove she’s not that into you.
Her replies to your texts are blunt; she keeps reinforcing that you’re just friends, and she tells you, directly and in words, that she’s not interested.
6 Smooth Tips for How to Ask a Girl on a Date
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Asking a girl out can be nerve-wracking.
But after watching Ken transform from an awkward college boy who spent his time googling how to ask a girl on a date, to a man who scored his wife on the first try,
I’m convinced that anyone can be like him.
Here are six essential tips that will change your dating game forever; and help you know how to ask a girl on a date.
1. Classic is like fine wine
The simple and straightforward approach is a classic for a reason. It gets to the point without sending mixed signals or playing with her emotions.
Most women prefer a go-getter -- a guy who knows what he wants and takes the necessary steps to make it happen.
With this approach, there’s no need for vagueness. It should never start with, “Um...so, I was thinking.”
Instead, make eye contact and ask bluntly, “Are you available Tuesday night? I would like to have dinner with you.”
The question and statement combination are a powerful tool. The former alludes to her schedule and tells her that you respect everything she has going on. The latter expresses your interest without mincing words.
Additionally, you could score extra points in the “sexy” column with this classic method. Women find direct men highly desirable because they exude confidence. Why? Because they understand that confidence stems from being secure with yourself.
2. So much cheese
One thing that’s true across the board is that anything cheesy, especially with regards to women is cliché.
Nonetheless, it can be charming and highly amusing in the right context. Consider these cheesy examples the next time you seek advice on how to ask a girl on a date.
Try this pickup line, “They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, I guess they never tried to stand next to you.” It’s funny, and she’s guaranteed to laugh when used in the right context.
If you already have her number, send her a funny gif or meme that will initiate a conversation. Make sure it’s as silly as possible.
Additionally, what says cheesy more than actual cheese?
Send her a pizza and write something along the lines of, “Will you go out on a date with me? Or is this too cheesy?” You’ll have her cheesing in no time.
3. It's a natural talent
In our opinion, we believe that guys with a great sense of humor have it a bit easier on the dating scene.
If you can successfully make a woman laugh, you can rest assured that she won’t take her eyes off you. When asking her out on a date, use your sense of humor to your advantage.
With this approach, you have to be willing to loosen up and have fun.
Once she sees the twinkle in your eyes, she’ll know you’re enjoying the moment, as well.
When you see her in person, walk up playfully yet confidently and say, “Hey, wanna go grab a coffee together? Smile if you do, do a backflip if you don’t!”
Another tip for when she notices you: “Hey, do you mind holding this while I go for a walk?” Extend your hand. If she takes it, don’t let go.
4. The springboard method
If you’ve known her for a while, pay attention to the things she loves.
What are her hobbies? Where does she spend most of her time?
This approach tells her that you’re interested in the things she loves as well. You can find this information on her social media or through a mutual friend.
Use her interest to pull her in. It would be difficult for her to turn down a date planned around her favorite activities. If she enjoys swimming, take her out to the beach or the pool for a lovely day out.
Does she like reading? No problem. Do a little research and invite her to a cute bookstore she’s never been to.
Use her interests as a springboard to get her attention. When utilized correctly, this approach can turn into something that will bond the two of you together.
Also, it’s the perfect step in getting to know her likes and dislikes.
5. The lasting effect
Sometimes, it’s not enough to send her a bouquet or a funny meme.
For most women, a man who can create memorable moments out of ordinary days is a rare gem. This approach doesn’t necessarily mean extravagant or spectacular. It’s the expert use of timing and creativity.
If she’s a book lover, buy a romance novel and bookmark a paragraph, preferably, one alluding to romance.
Write a note on the bookmark with a post-it, saying “This is how you make me feel. I would love to tell you more about it on Saturday night at 8:00 p.m. This example is romantic, thoughtful, and incredibly memorable.
Here’s another unique approach. Write a college-style paper detailing why you like her and why she should go out on a date with you.
You can email it to her using a cute subject line or print it and have it delivered. Always remember that memorable moments matter.
When successful, you can share this tip when anyone asks you how to ask a girl on a date.
6. Bring out the trumpets
Man up! Go social! This means that you may need to go public with your affections.
A word of warning for you eager beavers out there: Make sure that you know the person well enough to do this or at least have had several encounters and know each other’s names.
Sometimes, asking out random strangers using this method can go awry and end with the question, “Do I know you?”
On a smaller scale, you can make her your woman crush on social media.
Write a short, sweet caption on why you decided to honor her publicly.
Alternatively, you can tag her under a post that expresses your interests. Furthermore, don’t forget to use the classic tricks of social media: Slide into her DMs.
Take a screenshot of your "add new contact" form in your phone – where you have first name, last name, phone number, etc., -- and send it to her.
Follow it up with, “Hi, sorry to bother you, but I need help. Can you please fill out this survey for me?”
Orientation Successful: Now Ask Her out with Confidence
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If there's one trait that women find incredible, it's a confident man who's unapologetically himself.
It’s something no one can do for you, no matter how many times you google, how to ask a girl on a date.
Implement the tips we’ve discussed, and that coupled with your confidence and personal charm, will cause a massive difference in your dating life.
Always remember: Don’t be deterred by rejection; instead, see it as a segue into growth and maturity.
Do you have some smooth dating tips that never fail? Let us know how you ask a girl on a date!
Featured Image Source: Pixabay
